Ugh! Its times like that when I have a hard time pulling all the thoughts apart and separating out what is important & what can be tossed. One only has so much space to rent in the ol' brain so no room for clutter.
But alas clutter there is - I do believe that I should get in to a regular habit of blogging because I think it would keep the collisions down to a minimum.
The one thing that has kept my attention the past few days is the passage that our Pastor is sharing tomorrow at church. I love the passage - It's in John 9. Its the story of a man born blind who is healed by Jesus. The healing while wonderful & should have caused rejoicing ended up causing a big "controversy". And in the end? He was kicked out of the synagogue (which was a huge deal) & by world standards left alone.
He was minding his own business - doing his 'regular' thing - the same thing he did every day. Along comes this 'Man' with his friends and the next thing he knows he has mud on his eyes. This 'Man' then tells him to go and wash off at the pool. So he does & he comes out of the deal seeing for the first time in his life! His excitement & joy is (by appearance) short lived. People don't believe it! They even question whether he was ever blind in the first place!
I shake my head at this - did they think he was faking it? Did they think his parents were lying all those years? Amazing - they see the wonderous healing that Jesus did & yet come up with all kinds of reasons why it couldn't be true!
Humm - I do have to stop myself though & ask if I do the same thing - Do I scoff at testimonies of those who claim "life changing events"? Do I question whether they every really had a problem in the first place? I do - I know I do! I steel God's glory & take away the praise that is His. This story prompts me to stop and give Him glory for the lives touched regardless of my opinion. I mean didn't Jesus tell His disciples that whether the motives were right or wrong God gets the glory - God is a big boy - He knows how to take care of Himself! He will deal with ALL of our impurities! ALL of US! So give Him the glory!
Yet now I have to go back to how this man must have been feeling - I tend to do that! I have always been one that feels things very deeply and so my first response tends to be - I want to know what he felt.
Did he feel abandoned? Alone? Did he want to rejoice? Did the struggle take his joy away? I want to know!
I think we can all sympathize with this man. I think all of us - at one time or another - have experienced times in our lives when the unexpected happened bringing intense joy but then turning around rather quickly to extreme sadness, frustration, helplessness, hurt, etc. We act in obedience of what we feel God has asked us to do and then have the rug pulled out from under us. I am pretty sure that if we took a poll 99.9% of us would say, "yeah! been there!"
We do the 'right things' and yet it feels like we were pushed off the cliff & are holding on for dear life! Just waiting and wondering if you are going to be rescued or fall to the valley below. We hang there wondering & quesitoning what we did wrong. Just waiting!
Yet - sometimes the things we face or the things we go through are simply God's way of giving us something we could never had anticipated. We see Him in a new & fresh way as we await His rescue. AND when we get on the other side of it our life will never EVER be the same. NEVER!
When I look back at some of the things I have walked through - things that were hard - I can see how God used those times to make me into the person I am today. Would I want to go through it again? Nope! But I would never want to lose what I have gained! What I have gained was worth every tear & every weary moment.
Each time God asks us to act in obedience we don't know the outcome. He simply asks us to trust Him, act & let Him do the work. He doesn't tell us the work will be easy and He doesn't say it won't cost us. He just says, "My yoke is easy & my burden is lite".
I will never understand His ways and why bad things happen to good people. I will never even try to understand all the evil things that happen is this world. I will probably say many times, "Its just not fair" - I might even question Him & His purpose but the bottom line is - to quote Steven Curtis Chapman, "God is God and I am not! I can only see a part of the picture He's painting. God is God and I am man so I'll never understand it all - for only God is God."
And you know what? I am really glad that is the truth for me. He is God! He is MY God and that is that for me!
There is a song out there that kind of captures some of this for me. It is a song that has touched so many - right at the heart of their struggle. I listen to it and its as if the person was reading my thoughts! My questions! My heart~ I know so many have been touched by this song because it says what so many want to say.
The song is called 'Blessings' by Laura Story - it came out of a time when her husband had gone through a very serious medical condition. She has lived this song - she knows who God is but had to ask herself, "So maybe these things are really Your Mercy in disguise. Maybe our blessings come in ways we wouldn't expect them?"
Enjoy this song - I pray that it touches your heart like it does mine every time I hear it. I do wonder if the man born blind would have related to this song? I think so~
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